Psychiatrist Carl Jung said, “Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” He was describing the process by which we develop dysfunctional behaviors as a way to avoid emotional pain, yet seem to wind up in far more torment and confusion than when we originally started. Instead of solving one problem we often simply add another. The true problem is one of unrealistic expectations; that a life well-lived can somehow be accomplished without difficulty or discomfort.
Archives for January 2016
The Problem Is Fear, Not Confusion
The first thing people often say to me when we begin a session is, “I’m confused.” They then may proceed, with razor-sharp clarity, to articulate their feelings, thoughts, and circumstances. With great sophistication and ability to connect cause and effect they will outline their own problematic patterns of behavior, why they are concerned about a relationship, or what decisions they believe they should make. After these impressive and startlingly astute perceptions so many people will then slump in their seat, defeated, and say, “But I’m so confused.” Confusion becomes the self-constructed yet hollow wall that prevents them from moving forward.
